After a few months, one of my friends from our church small group asked us to come support her when she shared her testimony at Celebrate Recovery. I remember thinking, “Wow, what a nice program for ‘other’ people who need healing, but this isn’t for me.”
God began transforming my life and the life of my family radically over the next year. By the end of 2010 my husband had given his life to Christ and finally had gotten a full-time job, I was led to Celebrate Recovery and Asia was led to go to YWAM (Discipleship Training School).
Next thing I knew, God was leading me to go to the Friday night meetings at Celebrate Recovery. I attended, never really feeling connected, but I couldn’t keep myself from going. Even Rick told me I should go, and said that he noticed I always felt better when I went.
I came to Celebrate Recovery crippled by fear and worry. I wanted so desperately to believe that God had my best interests at heart. I was angry and felt defeated most of the time. My marriage was still struggling and I was afraid it might fall apart. I kept asking God to show me the answers, and felt like He wasn’t even listening.
In January of 2011, Rick was able to find a full-time job and God told me He wanted me to join the Step Study at Celebrate Recovery. God and I struggled over this. I had several excuses for why I shouldn’t be a part of the Step Study. It wasn’t my kind of thing. God had already healed me from so much pain, and the rest of the work was up to me, etc. God finally asked me if I was willing to do what I needed to do to make lasting change in my life. This convinced me to step out in faith and obey God’s leading.
When I first came into the class, I couldn’t understand why God had called me to be part of this study. I didn’t feel like I had anything in common with any of these women. As the weeks went by, I started to become connected with the other women in the group. I couldn’t wait each week for class. One of the requirements was that we had to make three connections with our sisters in our group each week. I didn’t like this, but I wanted to follow the rules. I started to feel connected and safe with these women. I was still not ready to completely lower my mask, but I couldn’t stay away from the weekly meetings.
My husband and I continued to struggle with our finances. The year and a half that my husband had been unemployed had taken a tremendous toll on our financial situation. I was so angry. I felt like God was not keeping His promise to provide for all our needs. It seemed the harder we worked the farther behind we would get.