This week as my schedule for the week ahead was filling up, I found myself starting to dread it. The thought that I couldn’t possibly finish everything that needed to be done kept bombarding me. Resentment started to creep in. Resentment that I wasn’t going to get to do what I felt was important because of all the other things that kept being added to my already full schedule. Everything was not fitting into my little plan and I was already deciding that this was going to be a crazy hectic week. I was setting myself up to be angry and resentful.
Then God reminded me of the many months I had spent unemployed just praying for work and feeling so useless because I had nothing to do that seemed of any value. He seemed to say you need to be thankful and make me your first priority and then everything else will fall into place. I wish that I could say that was the end of it and that I surrendered to what God had in store for me, but sadly that is not the end of my story.
Last night there was another change to my plan for the week. A very important meeting that I had planned to have on Thursday was moved up to Monday. It was somewhat more inconvenient for me and this sent me back to my little pity party. I kept rehearsing just how difficult this was going to make my day and got angrier and angrier. When I woke up this morning I read my devotional which was all about resting in God’s presence and not to wear ourselves out worrying about how to cope with the pressures of our day, but looking to God to get what was needed. Again, I wish I could say that was all that was needed to set me straight, but there was one more complication to the day. The person I was meeting was running late. My master plan was changed and this thought sent me right into full blown resentment.
My dear friend finally came about 45 minutes late and I met her at the door and pounced on her letting her know what an inconvenience this was for me. As soon as the words left my mouth the realization of what I had done hit me, but it was too late the words were already out there and couldn’t be taken back. I apologized, but could see by her facial expression that the damage was already done.
I excused myself and went into another room. There I humbled myself and asked God to forgive me and to empty me of myself and to use me for His purpose today. God is just so good! Throughout the day as we worked through what we needed to get through I could see the tension ease up and God restored my day and was able to use me. God taught me another valuable lesson about enjoying the moment and not selfishly holding on to my master plan. His plan is always better than ours anyway. Someday maybe I’ll get that before I stick my foot in my mouth.
When was the last time you let go of your plan and let God bless you with His? Please feel free to share and encourage us all.