Women seem to have a need to be there for everyone else. It’s very hard for us to take the time to give ourselves what we need. Many times we begin to get resentful because others are not meeting our needs. We expect others to do for us what we don’t do for ourselves. The phrase “You teach others how to treat you” comes to mind. We spend our time taking care of everyone else’s needs and wonder why we are so tired and worn out.
It seems so selfish to start giving yourself what you desire others to give you, but when we start to give ourselves what we want from others it allows us to give to others without resentment. We allow ourselves to stop being the victim and that is giving an amazing gift to ourselves and others.
One of the ways I began to start taking care of myself was by enrolling in and attending a Celebrate Recovery step-study. Every Wednesday evening for a year from 6:30 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. was devoted to my step-study meeting and my step-study sisters. At first it was a struggle and the guilt of putting this before my family and other things was overpowering. Slowly, over time it became my lifeline and when I missed for any reason it left a big hole in my week. This step-study was the beginning of shedding my victim mentality and learning to truly receive God’s love.
One evening when I was thinking that I was so tired and maybe I could skip this week, my husband said, “You should go, I notice you always feel better when you do”. This was the first time the realization that this was as much for my family as it was for me, hit me. When we don’t take time for us we can actually hurt others more than we are hurting ourselves. Sometimes taking the time to shut ourselves off and be alone with God or taking that nap can be a wonderful gift for the ones we love.
We as women and especially Christian women, think it’s our job to save the world. In reality, somebody already took care of that. His name is Jesus and He died to save us all, so we can cross that one off the list. Sometimes when we are busy trying to take care of everyone, we don’t allow others the gift of giving to us. We need to learn how to receive before we can truly give of ourselves. When we receive what God has for us first, then all the other things seem to fall in line the way they are supposed to be. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 22:39 “…Love your neighbor as yourself.” You have to seek God first and receive His love so you are able to give out of abundance and not lack.
Where are you on the schedule this week?