Archive | December 2012

Got Goals?

Change 2

Most of you have heard the expression “to have a friend; we first need to be a friend”. Over the last two years, the truth of that statement has finally begun to sink in. For most of my life I had very few friends. There were a lot of people around me, but few people that ever got to see the real me. People talk about having best friends since childhood and I just can’t relate.

Most of my childhood was spent keeping everyone at arm’s length, because the thought that if they knew me they couldn’t possibly like me constantly ran through my mind.
I spent most of my time constantly blaming others for not reaching out, when in reality they didn’t have a chance to be my friend, because no one knew who I really was. To have true intimacy with another you have to become vulnerable and risk being hurt, and I wasn’t willing to become vulnerable to anyone.

Two years ago, God began to change my life dramatically. I remember crying out to Him for months that I was so lonely. My heart ached so much from the loneliness that sometimes I didn’t think that survival was possible. God led me to a program called Celebrate Recovery and a group of women that loved on me and urged me to be myself. It took several months, but God finally started to reveal the link between my loneliness and my fear of being vulnerable with people.

That truth was brought home further when He led me to a company called Klemmer and Associates by a newly found friend in Celebrate Recovery and I attended a Champions Workshop in January of 2012. This started a chain of events which led to a whole new perspective on life. It was okay to take risks and step out in faith, because I now had a group of people who were there to hold me accountable and encourage me in my journey.
There are several goals that I have set and accomplished this year as a result of attending Klemmer and Associates Workshops and building friendships with like-minded people who challenge me to step into the things that God has laid on my heart.

1) My book was written and published in 77 days. (A lifelong dream come true!)
2) My blog was started.
3) My daughter and I now have our jewelry in The Gauze Shop in Downtown Stuart and we have a cool new name, Tasia Divine Creations!
4) My second book has been started and my dream of becoming a public speaker has begun to take shape.
5) Many of my relationships have been renewed and healthy new ones are developing.

These are all things that God put on my heart and are just a few of the changes that happened in my life in 2012. The biggest change is that I now look forward to the New Year with excitement for the first time in my life.

If you are trying to decide where to begin to make change in your life, come join us at our local Champions Workshop on January 14th. It could be the beginning of something amazing in 2013! http://www.klemmer.com/workshop/results.asp?sid=3897 Contact me today at tammyidobelieve@gmail.com for more information on how you could change your life in 2013!

What goals do you have for 2013?

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This entry was posted on December 31, 2012. 1 Comment

Our Most Precious Gift

This time of year can be wonderful when we focus on the true reason we are celebrating. We are celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, the one who came to earth, because He loved us so much that He could not bear to spend eternity separated from us! How cool is that!

Today is my birthday. As a child, I felt so cheated. Everyone would tell me how special it was to have my birthday on Christmas, but all I felt was left out. It seemed that others were able to celebrate their birthdays and it was their special day, but my birthday was often forgotten or an afterthought. Recently, my outlook has changed and I do feel truly blessed to be able to celebrate my birthday on the same day we celebrate our wonderful Savior’s birth.

Greatest Gift

This time of year used to be such a stressful time for me because my focus was on everything but celebrating the precious gift we received when Jesus chose to come down and hang out with us and show us the greatest love the world has ever known. A couple of years ago, our church small group did a video Bible study of Matthew. That study began to transform my view of who God is. For the first time in my life, Jesus, became real to me. I realized how much He enjoyed being with us in the flesh and sharing everything He was with His Father’s greatest creation. He found such joy in being among His people and showering them with His love and compassion. He brought an end to the idea that we could somehow earn the love of our creator. He came down to this earth to show us how important and precious we are to Him. If we can begin to grasp that truth and keep growing in our knowledge of that wonderful love we would never again feel lost or unloved.

This past year, God has begun to transform my mind and teach me what it is to be loved with abandon and to begin to share that love with others. It has been a wonderful journey and I feel truly blessed because the true meaning of what Jesus did for us has finally begun to sink in. He came here to earth and became one of us to save us, but also to share with us the abundant life.  A life that is so amazing and wonderful and it’s waiting for any one of us to receive. The most beautiful part of this gift is that we can do nothing to deserve it; it is given to us freely and without strings! We get to receive it and then He teaches us how to walk into it and share it with others. How truly amazing!

The prayer that I pray today is that each of you would receive this precious gift and begin to understand the beauty of what you have!

What has God revealed to you this year? Please feel free to share, the beauty of God’s gifts is that they are even more precious when you share with others!

Leading with Love

Love

There’s a saying “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” This is so very true, especially in our world today. At the heart of all of us is the desire to be accepted and loved. Many people feel if they are wrong they will not be loved or accepted, so the average person will do whatever they can to prove they are right. Needing to be right usually alienates us from others and is the exact opposite of what we are trying to do, but many people don’t understand that. We really need to keep this in mind when we are sharing our truth with others. Delivery of our message is one of the most vital components of sharing that message. If people don’t think you care and all you’re doing is trying to prove that you’re right, they will usually check out and not even consider listening to you.

In Corinthians, Paul certainly confronted the members of the Corinthian church with truth, but throughout first and second Corinthians we see that he peppered his confrontation with many words of love and encouragement. There were some that refused his correction, but many got the message and changed their ways. I believe Paul was effective because he came from a place of love rather than pride.

In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 Paul talks about meeting people where they are so that more of them will receive his message. “19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. 20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that I might win those who are without law. 22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. 23 I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.

A few years ago, I watched a movie called “Patch Adams”. It was based on a true story about a man who went to medical school and took on their idea of what a doctor should be. The most amazing thing about the movie was watching the character played by Robin Williams consistently lead with love for others. He took it as a personal challenge to reach everyone with love that he came in contact with. This was especially true if they went out of their way to shut him out. He was relentless at spreading love in his wake. That is the goal I aspire to and believe what God is looking for from me. Maybe we could all take a lesson from this movie and learn to spread the truth with love and leave our pride at the door.
Who can you love on today?

Does Time Heal Wounds?

time

There’s a saying that says “time heals all wounds”. People would say that to me constantly, and I began to wonder how much time was needed to heal the wounds from my childhood. At the age of 34 it became apparent to me that “time” wasn’t going to heal my wounds. The circumstances of my life at that time told me that I needed to find some healing or my hurts might very well destroy me.

It was at this time that my cousin chose to end his life due to the tremendous emotional pain he was suffering from. This took me by complete surprise, because he seemed to be so strong and self-confident. We had a conversation just a few months before his death where he stated that self-help books were not needed; you simply needed to “get over” the hurts in your life. His death showed me that action was required to overcome the pain in my life.

My search to find healing for my deep wounds took about ten years and there were a lot of twists and turns in the path. It started by my willingness to realize that I was powerless to heal on my own and that it was imperative that I seek my creator to show me where to start.

The process was very difficult in the beginning. One person who was made aware of my search told me that “I should have gotten over these things years ago.” This was so very hurtful and had I listened to their advice I would have given up right then and there. Looking back, it is clear to me that God placed a cocoon around me to keep me on the path toward the healing that I was so desperately seeking.

My point in sharing all of this is that if you are on a journey toward healing be careful who you allow to speak into your life and to encourage you to seek God for His wisdom. Also, if you know someone in your life who is seeking healing, be very careful about the words you say to them and about them. Words are mighty weapons that can be used for good or evil! (Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”)

A few things to keep in mind as you walk the road to healing…

  1. You are unique and your journey will be too. (Things that have worked for others may not work for you.)
  2. Patience, patience, patience… (Many wounds have years of scar tissue around them and it may take time to get to the root.)
  3. Be open to people and situations that God will bring into your life to teach you. (Isolating yourself can be a dangerous proposition.)
  4. Trust God to show you what you need in His timing. (He created you and He alone knows exactly what you need, when you need it.)

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Please feel free to share any victories you’ve had or struggles you are currently facing, so that others can support you in prayer.

Are you ready to find true healing for your past?

This entry was posted on December 14, 2012. 2 Comments

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Rock Climbing

Why is it easier to choose the negative over the positive? I believe it boils down to pride. You may disagree, but I challenge you to dig deep and think about some of the biggest disappointments in your life. What made your circumstances so disappointing? If you’re honest with yourself, it’s because things didn’t turn out the way you thought they should. Usually when that happens we make an inner vow to ourselves that we will never allow ourselves to be disappointed again. This is a recipe for disaster, because we will hold onto that promise with our whole being and consistently make choices that will prove “we were right”. Our need to be right will keep us stuck in self-destructive patterns until we make a choice to admit that we may be wrong.

In my childhood, I was betrayed by the people that most of us assume should have our best interests at heart. At the time, I made a vow to myself that I would never again trust another human being. This created chaos in my life, because we were not created to live our lives by ourselves. I spent most of my life seeking to prove that no one was worthy of my trust, and I got what I asked for. Most of us have been betrayed in one way or another in our life and it becomes very easy to decide not to trust others.

I look to one of my favorite characters in the Bible for an example of how we should deal with betrayal. Joseph’s story is an inspiration to me because he chose to trust in God and not hold bitterness in his heart toward anyone. He had plenty of opportunity to become angry and resentful toward others; at any time in his life he could’ve chosen to hold onto evidence to prove that he couldn’t trust anyone.

  1.  His father made him a target by showing obvious favoritism toward him and this gave his brothers a reason to dislike him.
  2.  His brothers decided to kill him, but instead sold him into slavery.
  3.  God showed him favor as a slave because of his attitude and he was betrayed by Potiphar’s wife and thrown into prison.
  4. While in prison he maintained the proper attitude and was betrayed by the cup bearer, who forgot him after he was reinstated to his position in Pharaoh’s Court.

After all this betrayal he was taken out of prison and given a position of authority in the house of Pharaoh. Then he was put in a position to get even with his brothers for their betrayal years earlier, but he chose to walk in forgiveness and bless them instead. He received many blessings in his life, because he chose to maintain a positive outlook on his life no matter what the circumstances looked like. Does anyone of us have an excuse for holding onto our pride and seeking to be right after looking at this shining example?

Will you choose to lay down your need to be right today?

The Done List

to do list

This time of year can be very overwhelming. We look at all the extra things that come with the Christmas Season and we can quickly lose sight of what’s important or how much we have accomplished. We certainly need to focus on the reason for the season, but being realistic, most of us would say that this is a busy time of year. If we’re honest, most of us will admit that we have a few extra things on our list, no matter how hard we may try not to.

Most of my life I’ve been a list person, but lately I find myself unwilling to write down my “to do” list. A few weeks ago, while talking to a dear friend, she mentioned being overwhelmed by her “to do” list and that was when the revelation came  that maybe writing a “done” list may serve her better. This caused me to reflect on how I could change my view of my “to do” list, so that it was serving me.

When we focus all of our attention on all the things we have yet to do we can quickly lose sight of all those little victories we’ve had along the way. It’s important to enjoy the journey, otherwise what’s the point. Life is more about the journey than the destination. Let’s face it, we will never arrive in this life, so it’s all about the journey. We really miss out on valuable lessons when we focus on our failures or all the things that we haven’t done.

So today, I encourage you to make a “done” list and celebrate the things you’ve accomplished!

What can making a “done” list do for you?

1. It can help you realize how much you actually do on a daily basis. (This helps us to stop feeling like a failure.)

2. It can encourage you to keep moving forward. (When you see what you have already accomplished, it gives you hope for the future.)

3. It allows you to see the progress you have already made. (This helps to encourage you to keep moving forward.)

4. It can help you set realistic goals in the future. (This allows you to continue to stretch yourself, without feeling overwhelmed.)

5. It helps you to overcome negative self-talk. (We could all use another weapon to help us overcome all the negativity that can run amuck in our minds.)

6. It can help you to overcome the need to compare yourself with others. (We can waste a lot of time looking at what others are doing and comparing ourselves with them. Making a “done” list helps us to keep the focus on what we need to do rather than trying to compete with others.)

What have you done today? Please share your thoughts and any victories you’ve had in this area.