This week another young person I knew chose to end her life. We had lost touch recently and the conversation we shared last rang in my ears. We ended the conversation with the familiar words…we need to get together soon. This has been happening far too often and anger bubbles over within me. The knowledge that someone was deceived into believing this was the only choice they had brings discouragement like nothing else can.
My heart hurts for her, for her family and friends and for the loss of what could’ve been. This hits me hard because the memory of being in that same place is so vivid. I remember sitting in the hot tub with the razor and feeling an urge so powerful to leave. The voice I heard said, “They’d all be better off if you were gone.” Not long before my cousin had taken his life and seeing the aftermath of his choice is the only thing that kept me from believing the lie. I chose instead to call my aunt and remind myself why this was the wrong choice. My aunt didn’t know why I called, but it was enough to help me overcome and make the choice to stay. This choice was repeated many times over the next few years.
This memory brings questions of why… why couldn’t my young friend see this wasn’t the wise thing to do…why was she deceived into believing the lie…it goes on and on. These questions will not be answered; that is part of the heartbreak when someone makes this final choice.
If time travel were possible, I would travel back in time and share the story of God’s healing in my life. God’s love entered my life and took away the deception plaguing me for years. It was as if, God took my hand in that moment and gave me the ability to hold on one more day and then one more, one more and so on. It did not happen overnight, but today I have complete freedom from thoughts of suicide.
So today my prayer is this message will get out there, people will learn the truth and be set free and satan will be unable to steal any more lives. God gave us the answer in Jesus we simply have to choose to believe it!
Isaiah 61:1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound,”
Luke 4:18 “”The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed,”