I Do Believe; Help Me With My Unbelief!
(The simple answer for receiving God’s Abundant Power)
The day that changed my life, was a Sunday morning in 2010. I had been stumbling around in the dark, feeling defeated and alone. I had spent a large portion of my life trying to overcome the effects of emotional, physical and sexual abuse from my childhood. I wanted to believe that God loved me no matter what I had done.
My family and I had moved to Florida to make a fresh start and shortly after moving my husband was laid off from his job and had not been able to find another one. My daughter, who had been accepted into the Navy’s nuclear program and had what we believed was an amazing future ahead of her, had been discharged because of a knee injury. I had watched helplessly as she fell into anger and despair over her shattered dream. I felt like we had been completely abandoned by God, and could see no light at the end of the tunnel. Once again, I had checked out and become a victim of my circumstances.
I was at my lowest point that Sunday morning when I walked into church. For the first time in my life, I had no plan, no dream, and had decided I needed to be realistic and accept my lot in life. I was nobody special, and it was high time I started acting that way. Who was I to think I deserved to see my dreams become a reality?
My pastor began his message out of Mark 9: 23-24, “If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!” He had my undivided attention at that moment. He continued to talk about how this man had struggled with his faith and had asked Jesus to help him. I had been beating myself up nearly all my life because of my lack of faith, and this felt like a life preserver thrown to me by the Holy Spirit.
I realized that it wasn’t God that was condemning me for my lack of faith, but the enemy. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and suddenly realized that I had tried everything except asking God to change me. That very day I began to plead with God to help me with my unbelief. You see, I knew God was there and I knew He performed mighty miracles for others, but I didn’t think that He wanted to perform them for me. Who was I to think that God cared enough about me and my circumstances to ever move on my behalf? This was the beginning of the breakthrough that I had searched for in vain for many years. “I do believe; help me with my unbelief!”